Shaking Hands with Savages

Indie. Passion. Art. Music.

Savage Cinema: The Room[Review]

Lisa  tearing Johnny apart. Dance scene.

Lisa tearing Johnny apart. Dance scene.

Madness couldn’t exist if others aren’t around to witness it, and furthermore, create it. So if you are looking to whom the blame should be placed upon for allowing such a cinematic seizure as Tommy Wiseau’s The Room to exist, well, dear audience, grab a compact and gaze deeply into your own reflection.”But Tommy Wiseau directed it” many of you will astutely point out, but can we truly blame a television set for receiving and transmitting a signal? Sorry lads and lasses, but Tommy is no more a director than I am a chemical engineer, I like to think of him as an antennae (a poorly constructed one at that) or a medium, just happily receiving instructions from some unknown source.Whether this film’s existence is the result of all the negative energy in the universe coming back to us in its concentrated form–like a mange infected puppy– or its existence is the result of some other seemingly supernatural event; the point is, the film’s origin matters not. So, let’s crack this rotten egg’s shell and blame our curiosity on  art ,science, and knowledge.

Well, here is the snapshot of the “plot” of this cinematic endurance test.. Essentially, The Room revolves around the dissolution of Lisa and Johnny’s relationship. Throughout the course of the film we are introduced to the people who  Lisa and Jonny love and hate, and we get an idea of the type of people that the two of them are through their actions and interactions with those around them.  That is what I took away from the film at least , it is hard enough figuring out the tone of the film let alone the purpose and plot.

So, when did the boat, carrying the train, that was carrying an unassembled plane, crash into an oil rig, that just happened to be  built over a score of undetonated atomic bombs ? To put it simply; this film is an unmitigated disaster that is either the greatest parody of romantic cinema, or the worst example of a one man show ( Tommy ,wrote,directed,and produced ) ever put to celluloid.  The truth is to ask what is wrong with The Room, would be like asking a question of how big the universe is. And the truth is, in answering any to of the questions I would have to ask another one which is, ” how much time do you have?” The film features at least two abandoned plot points,  Denny’s drug problem and Lisa’s mother having breast cancer;the film does away with a  central character  halfway through the film, and  johnny has a priceless meltdown, which includes a t.v being thrown out of the window. There are plenty of other examples of film making 101 mistakes throughout, but I think most of the fun to be derived from this film is discovering these inconsistencies on your own.

The acting is atrocious on all counts. Johnny the main character often feels like he is acting in an altogether different film; he laughs at inappropriate times, he switches tones dramatically  and regularly contradicts himself (he didn’t hit Lisa but he pushes her at least twice). The film goes out of its way to make Johnny seem like an upstanding guy, but in the end he seemed more like a homeless martian that decided to steal a vaguely eastern European man’s skin and try his best to stay in character. Lisa courts cartoonish over the top villainy with uncontrollable nymphomaniac and does an awful job at both. She can never elicit anything from the audience other than a groan, even at her most pathetic she is still easily the most hated character in the film. Mark is essentially the eye candy; his character has about as much depth a rain puddle and looks like he is receiving his lines from a headset. Denny is just plain unsettling, he does not act like an 18-year-old, and I am pretty sure that Tommy conveniently switches between him being a high schooler and a college student throughout the film. Everybody else might as well be cardboard cut outs, except for the character who played the psychologist, but he inextricably disappears after the film is a little over half way over.

According to IMDb and Wikipedia  The Room cost a cool 6 million dollars to make. For a little comparison the first Saw  film  (also released in 2004) cost 1.2 million dollars USD, and guess what The Purge one of this years biggest surprises cost 3 million dollars USD. Who ever financed this film was definitely swimming in mounds of cocaine, and liters of cheap bourbon. The most ironic part of the whole experience is this, from an enjoyment standpoint The Room is hard to beat; sober,drunk or high, if you and a group of friends sit back and watch this film the whole way through you will have abs of steel afterwards as this is easily one of the most unintentionally hilarious things you will have ever seen. So, this is less of a review and more of a warning. Thus, in order to really enjoy The Room know before hand that the film is in fact soul cancer, but it’s delicious like a deep-fried peanut butter and chocolate cigarette — and  its a legitimately enjoyable hilarious film. One final reminder, before watching the film ask yourself are you ready for  awaits you in The Room?

Overall Score:  4/5

  • Worth buying, if you are into that kind of thing… I know I am.

Damn, that was a bit of a hiatus, so I’m back and more spry than ever. Sorry it took so long to update, but do know this I’m going to be updating the site on a regular basis starting next week; this week look for a Pacific Rim and Man of Steel review, and starting next Monday expect the usual music, movies, and other cool shit that you should be accustomed  to at this point.  So, follow Shaking Hands with Savages by clicking that little tab over there –>. You can also like Shaking Hands with Savages on Facebook or you could follow me on  Twitter. Over and out.


One comment on “Savage Cinema: The Room[Review]

  1. hafacenturyncounting
    July 22, 2013

    No truer words have been spoken..

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This entry was posted on July 22, 2013 by in Critique, Movie Review and tagged , , , , , , .


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