Indie. Passion. Art. Music.
My god what have I just read? I try to contain myself as the internet is at times what some would describe as the wild west, especially for writers. With platforms like Tumblr and WordPress any half-cocked hair brained wannabe Hemingway can post their thoughts on a myriad of subjects ranging from Kendrick Lamar to toe nail clippings that happen to look like everyone’s favorite messiah. For many, there is an expectation that many of these would-be expressionists may not be the most adept at prose and that’s okay, you know why; well for the most part, many are hobbyist and fledglings trying to get their sea legs on an unforgiving tide that is the world of freelance writing. So I often overlook typos without an ounce of scorn or bile boiling in the back of my throat because I know one day many of these individuals will have books published and become writers for the New York Times or where ever. Everyone starts somewhere so today’s WordPress blog could be tomorrow’s Thought Catalog or Gawker, and it’s really cool to chart individuals’ growth over time and witness these changes take place. But when I see this being passed around the internet as a legitimate piece of writing (that’s an overstatement), well, let’s just say it re-centers all my thoughts and ambitions about why I write.
Yes, you are correct Caroline this is no laughing matter, but your writing is equal parts comedy and tragedy. I know, I know, it’s Yahoo but this person is still being paid to produce barely comprehensible dribble. Just humor me, read this used piece of toilet tissue that she calls an article and tell me I am wrong. I’m waiting. It should have taken most of you 30 seconds to give up and come back to my page to lavish me with “I couldn’t do it” or ” You were right” maybe even “….” for those who were instantly turned to stone after gazing upon these unholy scribblings of a madwoman. Well, the gist of the article is Chelsea Handler’s grandparents not only had Nazi ties, but her grandfather was a reluctant Nazi, okay that seems serious enough. However somewhere along the lines Caroline couldn’t figure out whether she wanted to seriously criticize TLC or make her article read somewhere between a Perez Hilton and Wendy Williams gossip column; there is no such middle ground between these tones, sorry. To put it bluntly this woman is fucking tone retarded; there is no consistent voice and not to mention her punctuation is just plain heresy.. Somewhere a journalism professor is weeping in solitude.
Part of me was outraged, another part felt obligated to open others’ eyes to this matter. I wrote this article for my readers (and those who like watching car wrecks) but I mostly penned this for my fellow writers. Remember that on your worse day, your worst article will ultimately be better than this. Don’t ever forget what you write for either, and it’s not to simply be a good writer, our job is to extinguish the flame that is ignorance and ineptitude; two nouns that perfectly characterize this flash-bang grenade filled with pit vipers of an article.To quote Ms. Kepnes ” That was a bumpy, poorly navigated ride and we’re queasy.” I could not have said it better myself, keep your day job unless you do it as badly as this.
Seize the day writers this is not an article that’s meant to discourage rather take this as an opportunity to see what bad writing looks like and don’t do it yourself. With that said Follow Shaking Hands with Savages on Twitter and “Like” us on Facebook.