Shaking Hands with Savages

Indie. Passion. Art. Music.

‘Hello Kitty’ Or How To Find New Ways To Make People Hate Your Music

Oh poor sweet avril

This just in, global Schadenfreude levels are at an all time high.It’s all thanks to Avril Lavigne-Kroeger’s new amazing ( if all else fails assume this is sarcasm) music video “Hello Kitty.”

We tried to contain her, but like a hideously deformed relative, she just couldn’t stay in the cellar any longer. Now we are stuck with the musical equivalent of what would happen if somebody opened  The Ark of the Covenant .  But fret not readers, as if Avril’s inability to entertain us musically wasn’t enough, she also managed to put out a video that the Ark Music Factory wouldn’t even sign off on.

Again since we are kicking people while they are down, Mr. Nickelback himself even took part in the creation of this song. Chad Kroeger helped Avril write “Hello Kitty,” let that little  nugget of wisdom fester in your brain for a bit. The idea that  two bill-paying, married, non-teenagers sat down and wrote this song is a notch above being mindfuck worthy.

Said adults then presented this idea to music execs who then ok’ed it; right now, there are people playing in various subway stations around the world who play amazing music that only a handful of people will ever hear, but let’s roll out the red carpet for these hacks (soapbox removed). Anyway, Lavigne’s career hit its “peak” at “Girlfriend” and she just seems to be riding that seven-year old train into her thirties; it’s time to evolve or go extinct.

The video is pretty tone-deaf too. Avril must not have gotten the memo that cultural appropriation isn’t really all that awesome, especially in a post-Asian Girlz world. The quirky Japanese vibe she’s trying to pull of has pissed plenty of people off already, and rightfully so. Treating someone’s culture as a tote bag of sorts just reeks of the type of entitlement that spawns piles and piles of hate-mail.

The biggest problem with everything in this video– from the dance moves to the outfits,  as well as the cultural appropriation and the lyrics– is that it all feels so forced. Everything about it is so insincere and feels akin to a last grab at fame, and it’s really almost depressing. Throughout the run-time of the video Lavigne just sort of lazily half steps through everything in some sort of apathy induced sleepwalking session. It’s as if Lavigne expects this to be an instant hit just from the novelty of  having not seen her for so long.

The limelight eventually fades out for everyone and isn’t that okay; who really wants to be famous forever, better yet, can an Avril Lavigne career sustain itself any longer than five years? Lavigne surely thinks it can, but it seems that she has unwittingly chosen infamy as her final offering to the world as opposed to bowing out gracefully like so many before her have.

**NOTE** I like to provide people with choices. On one hand you can listen to Circa Survive’s first album Juturna in full (because i love them that’s why) or you could go below this text and check out the train wreck aka “Hello Kitty.” How about that gnarly symbolism, Heaven on top, or Hell beneath. Nevermind,  just go ahead and watch Avril’s video I know you want to.

**UPDATE** And the bastards yanked the video, sorry folks. If you want to check out the video you have to go to her site…


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This entry was posted on April 23, 2014 by in Musing, News and tagged , , , .


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